I got my own Gargantuax just last this Christmas day.
A giant monster to stomp down cities
To run and jump and play
My Uncle Cracker got him from the land of Husker Du
With certified authenticity to prove all this is true.
I taught him first to melt some things with his atomic ray
Like tanks and planes and army trucks
S'mores and creme brulee
Mom and Dad worry about the mess he'll make
And on the wisdom of burning leaves just so I don't have to rake
I tell them not to worry since my monster's under control
This isn't like that birthday gift Uncle Cracker's UFO
Gargantuax is sweet and cute and he has a killer smile
Who cares if his magnetic field fries pace makers for one radial mile
I want to take him to my school for a day of show and tell
But will he turn your recess, Dad asks, into a flaming scorching hell?
Can I Mom? Can I Pop? For once I'll be the only to one
To have a monster who's beating heart blazes hotter than the sun
So off we go to school one day Gargantuax and I
To vaporize my teacher's apple so I can see fear in her eyes
But oh the disappointment, this year's "it" gift for boys of 8 and 9
Monsters, robotic, alien, radioactive, undead
and all of them were loveable at least almost as much as mine
A giant monster to stomp down cities
To run and jump and play
My Uncle Cracker got him from the land of Husker Du
With certified authenticity to prove all this is true.
I taught him first to melt some things with his atomic ray
Like tanks and planes and army trucks
S'mores and creme brulee
Mom and Dad worry about the mess he'll make
And on the wisdom of burning leaves just so I don't have to rake
I tell them not to worry since my monster's under control
This isn't like that birthday gift Uncle Cracker's UFO
Gargantuax is sweet and cute and he has a killer smile
Who cares if his magnetic field fries pace makers for one radial mile
I want to take him to my school for a day of show and tell
But will he turn your recess, Dad asks, into a flaming scorching hell?
Can I Mom? Can I Pop? For once I'll be the only to one
To have a monster who's beating heart blazes hotter than the sun
So off we go to school one day Gargantuax and I
To vaporize my teacher's apple so I can see fear in her eyes
But oh the disappointment, this year's "it" gift for boys of 8 and 9
Monsters, robotic, alien, radioactive, undead
and all of them were loveable at least almost as much as mine
By David F. Gregg